I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
