dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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