so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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