I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
