nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
