OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
