he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
