He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
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I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
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SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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