i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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