Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
These tits shall not be calmed
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
