first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
