God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
