i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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