We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
