When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
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