then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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