I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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