He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
