shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
