The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
