i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
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I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
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But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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