I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
