he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
