Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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