Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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