Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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