oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
