When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
