from now on my penis is your penis
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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