Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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