I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Apparently you make a good broom.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
