Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
