I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
