HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
