If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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