dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
