maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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