Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
