He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
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While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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