Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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