you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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