her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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