Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
