i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
