is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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