Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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