Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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