As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
