I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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