DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Randomize
