return my video game
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
