She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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