Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
