My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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