This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
