Heybabeimwearingurpanties
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
