I never want to see another naked old woman again.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
