I will die if light touches me.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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