I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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