S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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