i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night