Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...