before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.