; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize